CATHERINE'S CONFESSIONS 

Confessions of an Adult Film Make-up Artist

 

Friday, November 13, 2004

 

It won't be long 'til you'll be lying limp in your own hands...

 

Well, gentle readers, today was my second day on the aforementioned horror/porn set...

 

Forgive me for having sex on the brain and my foul, foul mouth at the moment.

 

Here's a short recap...

Yesterday...

 Drove for an hour to the set.  Found the spot in an industrial area populated only by auto body places, thrift stores, nudey bars, and adult bookstores... Nervously entered office/studio, and was greeted by a young goth-y girl (our marvelous star) and a cute and tall young fellow in a Hellraiser shirt... Not intimidating, very mellow, very cool...

The female character got all done up not much differently than I used to do myself up for the goth clubs as a teenager... she's a great big nerdy porn star who's been in a couple things I've actually seen (which is amazing when you consider how limited my porn viewing has been)... very sweet, friendly, and laid back...

Until she was fucking herself with a grim reaper dildo... that was a little awkward for me... Nudity I've been around plenty since I started working with photographers and what have you... But this was far more intense... Not to mention the fact that following her climax, I had to rig up a razor blade for her to slash her wrists and throat and bleed profusely from nether regions as well... My assistant and I, actually... another incredibly fun and bizarre f/x girl who has a serious hard-on for porn, if you'll pardon the expression.

And I did all this while humming the Mr. Clean jingle... it's been in my head for two days... why?  Because the work is so dirty, maybe?

 Interesting...

 But afterwards, we did all hit up the Denny's for a rather sexually charged dinner conversation.

Today I got to watch her give a blow job to a rather awkward amateur guy who flew all the way from Colorado to shoot with us for four hours.

 Then we had a pro guy pumped full of Viagra, and sporting extensive "wood" for well over an hour... and proudly strutting about in the nude playing with himself... She had sex with him on the bed, then we smashed his head in with a hammer and she ate his brains...

We followed that with a family dinner at In N Out... also peppered with inappropriate dialogue... I think we're all starting to really enjoy going normal places to discuss abnormal shit... The director was trying to talk one of us girls into going into the Christian bookstore topless for $20... just for fun... Fun?

So, as my director's business partner put it, I had my "cherry popped" today (this is not a phrase I'm fond of)... Although he did find it amusing when I said it was my first "pop shot..."  He reminded me that I've most likely seen tons of them, and actually had a hand in most (ha ha)... He's pretty adorable, PS... Could Catherine have found this young porn fellow attractive?  Perhaps, perhaps, perhaps...

In short, my whole hesitation and potential for nervous breakdown anxiety has been shattered.  It's been totally relaxed and fun and I've gotten to do special f/x stuff I've never had the opportunity to try... all the blood everywhere and basic prosthetics... It's pretty fucking amazing... and I'm getting some much needed pay out of the whole thing...

So, their projects are very different, and really and truly do only shoot the sex stuff as incidentals... I realize how lame that sounds, but it's true... They really wanna produce high quality, cult-y type movies... The director keeps referring to it as an "independent film" and made us cast and crew t-shirts... They are really an adorable group of guys... No more pervy than any other straight men I have interaction with...

So, now that I'm so sexually desensitized I might well be able to retire my vibrator... I've decided that, maybe working with this particular company to make some money might not be so bad.  I could hang with this group.  I'm still rather conflicted about what I still half-believe is an industry that dehumanizes women (right right, off the soapbox, porno girl), but, it's money, and I'm having a blast at the moment... and in our movie the girl is the villain... murderous, big villain... she's got all the power... and our actress is just the coolest girl...

This whole week is going to be madness, though, and thank god for that... by the end of this weekend, I'll have made all I need to skate by for the month (provided I don't have a manic episode and buy an ipod), and then I can work on booking for December...

 Saturday, November 14, 2004

 We wrapped the movie last night, and I got home at about seven and pretty much crashed for the night... Movies and film shoots are probably my least favorite work... the hours are ridiculous and, at the level I'm at, the money's not as amazing as it ought to be... it ranges from okay to semi-decent... but we're looking for AMAZING here, folks...

However, the last four days were a total fucking blast, and... if you promise not to tell the director... I totally would've done it pro bono... I got to try all sorts of neat-o new stuff, and was really rather proud of myself and the outcome.  I made Caroline (my actress, not my sister) glow in the dark and we blacked out her eyes and drew up her veins and it was so fucking creepy... we brewed up a batch of brains for her to eat... and, poor thing, spent most of the first two days COVERED in sticky sweet fake blood and brains... Much fun for me, not so much for her.  And on the playback, good god was that shit disturbing... one never quite knows how ky jelly and food coloring will translate on film... or bananas and jam... the answer is: pretty damn well... I actually had to turn away at one point... and I mixed the shit up...

And man oh man, are we gonna have some hysterical outtakes.

So, all in all, my entire porn... I mean, "hardcore horror" experience was a marvelous one.  I would do damn near anything with the director and his partner again, Caroline is a fucking rock star (longest blowjob ever aside, I mean, the girl's had sex with Ron Jeremy... whom she mentioned gave great head), and I had so much fun.  It reminded me so much of when you perform in a play with your cast, and you bond so intensively.  I thought that experience was unique to that field, but apparently it occurs every time you work creatively with other creative people.  It definitely takes a certain type of individual to chase an artistic dream... and I do actually qualify these folks I worked with this week as artists.  Caroline was actually a tremendous little actress (I may have mentioned that before)... strong character development is valuable, whether you're taking your top off for Spielberg or having your hooey shot closeup...

And, while the whole concept of it is still a bit odd to me, I have so much newfound respect... maybe not for the entire industry, but for these contributors... There is nothing less legitimate about it... and I don't know for certain that I believed that going in.  Who am I to judge anyway?  These are intelligent, creative spirits and this is how they are choosing to express themselves.  There are about a bajillion more "dignified" and "respectable" things I could be doing, too... We do what we have to so that we don't have to sell our souls... and, quite frankly, I would spend all day on a porn set than push paper behind a desk all day ever again (especially if that set is in Tokyo, where Caroline mentioned she might bring me in the spring).  If that's what keeps bills paid, rock on.  So, if I venture deeper into "the adult industry," to hell with anyone who can't hang (with the exception of my family, naturally, who CAN'T hang)... Of course, only as a makeup and hair stylist... there is no denying how miserably unphotogenic I am... the behind the scenes guy and director kept sneaking shots of me doing makeup or goofing around, and I warned them not to waste their film... they thought I was being falsely modest... until they looked at the captured images... "Tony Danza and Freddie Mercury had a baby... and that baby has purple hair!"

An amazing experience… far better than I'd anticipated…

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